Negative judgement is psychological poison and at the root cause of all of your suffering. To heap more judgement upon you would only serve to increase your suffering. Therefore I don't judge you for two very sound reasons:

1. I pride myself in my effectiveness as a clinical psychologist and I have a vested interest in you regaining your wellbeing as quickly as possible. I don't judge you because it's simply not an effective psychological strategy and only impedes your progress in therapy.
2. I have been where you are now, dealing with emotional pain and I have sought a lot of help over the years from therapists, most of it expensive and ineffective. It took me a long time before I found a therapist I could trust – so why should I judge you for something I have experienced myself? I consider that to be an effective therapist it is essential to do one's own personal therapy; after all how can I fully understand my clients unless I have experienced what it's like to be a client myself? We're all in this journey of life together and I'm privileged that you've chosen me to walk by your side.

From Others:

   Most people have personal prejudices that stem from what they've learned from their life experiences. It's like a coloured lens through which most of what is seen takes on that colour. Basically judgement is a misguided strategy that is designed to enhance safety and the sooner the danger is identified, the sooner the protection can kick in. Therefore, when people judge you it's more revealing about who they are than anything about you.

   Additionally, most people don't look too deeply and are not trained to see exactly what's going on for you. To give nonjudgmental and focused attention is what Buddhists call "equanimity", which is the ability to take a warm, kindly, compassionate but objective view of what's happening inside each person. This goes against the grain of how we are socialised and therefore takes many, many years of training and personal practise to develop, since we have to overcome our own thick layers of prejudices and pain to truly see another with these eyes. As you go through your own process of therapy you will learn this skill and it will help you to let go of the judgements that poison your life with pain as well as see all things more clearly and compassionately.

From You

   Self-judgement is the most poisonous type of all and unfortunately most of it is unconscious, hence your struggle over so many years. It sensitises you to see judgement and pain coming in from everywhere and has a powerfully destructive impact on your relationships. It undermines your physical and emotional health and wellbeing and in extreme cases (eg, suicide or self harm) can even kill you. It's like being trapped in a prison of your own making where conditions are very, very harsh.

   And the worst thing is, because you're so used to it, it feels like that's who you are so it's impossible to see the real you – like a rare and precious diamond caked in decades of encrusted dirt that needs an electric sander to grind it off! Therapy will help you to gently recognise your own self-judgement and give you effective strategies for eliminating it, bit by bit, from your life. Sometimes this can take time, especially when the habit is engrained over many years, but the relief, freedom and energy that comes from breaking out of that prison is well worth it!